A Gentle Guide to Weaning Your Baby

Weaning—the process of ending breastfeeding—is a significant transition for both mother and baby. Whether it happens gradually over many months or more quickly due to circumstances, weaning can bring up a range of emotions. This guide offers gentle, practical approaches to help you navigate this transition with care.

Understanding When to Wean

There is no "right" time to wean. The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and continued breastfeeding alongside complementary foods for two years or beyond. However, the best time to wean is when it works for you and your family.

Reasons for weaning vary widely:

• You and your baby feel naturally ready
• Returning to work makes continuing difficult
• Medical reasons or medications
• Pregnancy with a new baby
• Personal readiness to reclaim your body
• Your baby loses interest (baby-led weaning)

Whatever your reasons, they are valid. Weaning is a personal decision, and only you can know what is right for your situation.

Baby-Led Weaning

Baby-led weaning happens when your child naturally loses interest in breastfeeding. This typically occurs gradually, with feeds becoming less frequent over time until they stop altogether. Signs your baby may be self-weaning include:

• Shortened feeds with easy distraction
• Preferring cups to breast
• Nursing only at specific times (like bedtime) and not asking at other times
• Decreased interest despite being offered the breast

True self-weaning rarely happens before 12 months. A baby who suddenly refuses the breast at a younger age may be on a nursing strike, which is usually temporary and has an underlying cause.

Mother-Led Gradual Weaning

Gradual weaning is the gentlest approach for both mother and baby. It allows your body to slowly decrease milk production (reducing the risk of engorgement and mastitis) while giving your baby time to adjust emotionally.

Step-by-step approach:

1. Drop one feed at a time, starting with the one your baby is least attached to (often a daytime feed)
2. Wait several days to a week before dropping the next feed
3. Replace dropped feeds with cups of milk, snacks, or extra cuddle time
4. Leave the most important feeds (often morning and bedtime) until last
5. Watch your breasts for signs of engorgement and hand express for comfort if needed

Strategies for Different Ages

Weaning a baby under 12 months:

• Introduce bottles of expressed milk or formula before weaning from the breast
• Have another caregiver offer some feeds to ease the transition
• Offer lots of physical comfort and cuddles to replace the closeness of breastfeeding
• Be patient—young babies may resist bottles initially

Weaning a toddler:

• Use distraction during usual nursing times—offer activities, snacks, or go outside
• Shorten feeds gradually before eliminating them
• "Don't offer, don't refuse" can work well for gradual weaning
• Change routines associated with breastfeeding (e.g., have dad do bedtime)
• Explain changes in simple terms: "Mummy's milk is going away. You're getting so big!"
• Offer extra cuddles and connection in other ways

Managing Night Weaning

Night weaning is often tackled separately from day weaning and can improve sleep for the whole family. Strategies include:

• Gradually reducing the length of night feeds before eliminating them
• Having your partner respond to night wakings instead
• Offering water or comfort instead of breast
• Explaining to toddlers that "milkies are sleeping" at night
• Ensuring plenty of feeding during the day

Be prepared that night weaning may take time and there may be some protest. Consistency and comfort are key.

Physical Considerations During Weaning

Weaning affects your body as well as your emotions. Here is what to expect and how to manage:

Engorgement: If weaning too quickly, your breasts may become uncomfortably full. Express just enough for comfort—not to fully drain—to signal your body to decrease production. Cold compresses and over-the-counter pain relievers can help.

Blocked ducts and mastitis: The risk increases during weaning. Watch for lumps, redness, or flu-like symptoms and address promptly.

Hormonal changes: Decreasing prolactin and oxytocin levels can affect your mood. Some mothers experience sadness, irritability, or even depression during weaning. This is physiological, not a reflection of your parenting.

Return of menstruation: If your periods had not returned, expect them to resume after weaning (though timing varies).

Emotional Aspects of Weaning

Weaning can bring up complex emotions, even if you are ready to stop breastfeeding:

• Relief mixed with guilt
• Sadness about the end of this phase
• Pride in what you have accomplished
• Grief for the special closeness
• Excitement about increased freedom

All of these feelings are normal and valid. Acknowledging them helps you process this transition.

Maintaining Connection After Weaning

Breastfeeding is about more than milk—it is also about closeness and comfort. As you wean, find new ways to maintain that special bond:

• Extra cuddles and skin-to-skin time
• Special one-on-one activities
• Reading books together
• Baby massage
• Bath time rituals
• Singing and rocking before bed

Your bond with your child does not depend on breastfeeding. The love and attachment you have built will continue to grow in new ways.

If You Need to Wean Quickly

Sometimes circumstances require faster weaning. If so:

• Wear a supportive bra continuously
• Apply cold compresses to reduce swelling
• Express only for comfort, not to empty
• Consider speaking with your doctor about medications that can help dry up supply
• Take pain relievers as needed
• Watch carefully for signs of mastitis

Be gentle with yourself during rapid weaning—it is harder on your body and emotions.